Boo-ya, Motherfucker

 In my dream I heard Mary crowing And someone behind me whispered “Three times. It’s three times, right?” Then laughed with an ugliness That woke me up In that way you wake up inside a dream But not into your here and now. Still in the dream, I picked up my hoolahoop filled with salt and built energy with a swaying of my hips that set that salt circle spinning. I laughed my own laugh then, one of Power and joy and strength. Then I was spinning inside the Spinning hoop, long hair flying, Twirly skirt flying, bare feet flying Until my body rose and my voice rose In an undulating, rising sound of woman’s power. I could see everything. Everything. One last yell. I clapped my hands together and felt the Surge of power from all the silver rings I used to wear In the same moment that I stomped my foot. The hoolahoop exploded. Salt and power flew everywhere. I spoke the words because words are spelling and spelling is power. “Nothing negative is welcome here.” And then, because I am who I am, “Boo-ya, motherfucker. Be gone.” I woke into this here and this now With those last two words on my lips. Mary is crowing. I have things to do. ~Sheri Barker October 26, 2021

Autumn Adventure

Do you know anyone else who is as delighted as I am to find bear scat? Or am I just a weirdo?

I went on a wonderful adventure today, and while walking along a path through a wooded picnic area I saw the most enormous pile of bear scat I have ever seen. I am pretty sure I woo-hooed with delight, and if that bear was still anywhere in the area,  he probably laughed at me. 

I wish I could have seen him, safely and from a distance, because based on the size of this pile of scat (photo of scat next to a man's size 11 foot), that was one massive American black bear. Although I stayed in that area for about an hour and a half, I never felt more than lingering bear energy, so he must have just been walking through. 

Of course, bear poop was not the main goal of the day's adventure. Autumn is my favorite time of year, and I love to celebrate all of the beauty it displays. I was pleased that Rhodes was available to spend the day with me, and I had a good time sharing scenery, music, road food, and conversation with him. 

Rather than getting on the Parkway in Swannanoa, we drove east on 40, then up 221 through Linville Gorge. This brought us close to Wiseman's View, where we have ventured several times to view the Brown Mountain Lights (https://youtu.be/ffBRPMPXE-w) and without a doubt, the entire gorge area is one of the most magical places in the world. 

We stopped at Linville Caverns but decided there were too many other people there and we didn't feel comfortable going on the tour. We spent some time exploring the creek and rocks, and the earth-vibe there is intense. I am looking forward to going back there in a couple of weeks; the tour of the cavern is an amazing experience and this is the perfect time of the year to take that little journey into the earth. 

We picked up the parkway just north of Linville Falls and the scenery along the way was spectacular. I have absolutely zero luck identifying grasses, but especially in the fall, I love the way the grasses with the creamy-white feathery tops soften the edges of the landscape. In certain settings, they even add a bit of the mystical. 

Today the world was a sea of evergreen and blue sky, gray and brown rock formations, and every shade of orange, red, gold, and brown I have ever seen, plus some river water brown and moss gray and green. These are the colors and this is the season of some of the best memories of my life, and every year I like to add images and memories to the visual quilt I carry in my mind. At times when I am cold or sad or just in need of comfort, I can pull that quilt to the front of my mind, and wrap myself in it until I feel warm and safe. 

                                            Lake Julian Price

                                                        That Carolina sky                                                         

                                  A view of Grandfather Mountain from the Blue Ridge Parkway

Farther down the path where I saw the bear scat I found a perfect spot for some deep meditation. A small rhododendron thicket next to a creek formed an open crescent moon, and snugged into that was a tree stump which was surrounded by a blanket of moss. I sat in front of the stump and spent some time enjoying the scenery and mentally cataloging the sounds I was hearing -  water flowing in the creek and the way it bubbled over the rocks; leaves falling, pinballing through branches and other leaves, skittering along the ground; squirrels and birds and other small wildlife; the wind through the branches. 

I was then able to use those newly familiar sounds to transition into meditation. 

I stayed in that space for quite time, then brought myself slowly back to the here and now. After doing some stretches and making sure I was grounded, I walked on down the path in search of Rhodes. I found him about 50 yards away, enjoying a nap under some trees. It was lovely to see him so relaxed and content in the forest. 

We took a roundabout way home after having lunch in that park, and I saw some parts of Tennessee that I have never seen before, including the beautiful Watauga Lake area. We also encountered some pretty fierce rain, which created a perfect bookend for the Carolina autumn day: sunny and bright on one end, wet and misty on the other. 

This was a grand day, but I am grateful for the warm bed into which I am about to pour my very tired self. 

Tonight I hope for dreams of autumn splendor; of creeksides and golden fields, of bears and deer, of cornstalks and pumpkins, bowls of warm soup and cups of hot tea. 

Birthday On the Bear Path

Two days ago, as has become my tradition, I started the celebration of my actual day of birth where we all begin life - in a space between the here and there, between the now and then, between the beginning and the end. Not by design, but in answer to a gentle invitation, I kept one foot in that space and the other in this one from the early hours of the 16th until I watched the first blush of color rise in the sky this morning. That experience was a neatly wrapped gift from the divine.

As midnight fell into my birthday I was sitting in the front garden, light-bathing under the waxing gibbous moon. Flowers in sunlight are a beautiful thing; flowers in moonlight are a whole different world, and after completing a deep meditation I lingered outside, conversing with the Moon and the flowers about my birthday, about Autumn, and about many other things.

15 minutes or so after I came back into the Cottage, mama bear and her cubs came strolling up through the tiny orchard. Watching the video, the first thing you can see is her shadow cast onto the embankment by the headlights of an approaching car. Then there is the floating eye-shine parade, as she moves along with the cubs coming behind her. She was actually well ahead of them, and as she reached the edge of the driveway turned twice to make sure the car wasn't a threat to her cubs.

Seeing these bears well and healthy, chubbifying their way towards the winter months, was a grand present. Being able to witness their journey always brings me a great deal of joy. As I've spent the last two days walking in between worlds I had a lot of time and a good many reasons to muse about bears and why I care so much about them, and about the whys and hows of all the things I wish for and wish not.

That lead to a great deal more thinking about how walking the Crow Road merged with being On the Bear Path; how living with grief is moving towards living from a place of healing. I hope to share more about that soon. The grief I carry is never going to be a gone thing; it is never going to go away or get better. But it does not hold me in a place of stasis or stagnation; in fact, it frequently brings change and growth and continued healing, and I am learning how to give grace and compassion to myself when I have need of such things. I am embracing this new year of my life with courage and hope, and looking forward to strengthening foundations and empowering transformations as I continue my journey On the Bear Path.