I believe my mother tried to be a kind and compassionate person her whole life. Perhaps it was an attempt to heal the wounds she suffered from the cruelty and abuse she endured as a child, a young woman, and a young mother. Much of that trauma was inflicted by her own family and the family she eventually married into. I could recite some of the stories here, but a few of the villains are still alive and Jeannie the Loving would not want me to publicly shame them. In fact, she probably forgave them long ago.
Toward the end of her life, she seemed to double her efforts to see the good in people, even if she had to work extra hard to make that happen. It didn’t matter what was going on in someone’s life, she always had something kind or encouraging to say about them or to them.
One of her last public appearances happened on Valentines night in 2008. There was a heavy lake-effect snow falling, but she insisted that I drive her to the hospital where she worked so she could take special holiday treats to her 2nd and 3rd shift coworkers. They were accustomed to her deliberately thoughtful and silly little gifts and she wanted them to remember her that way. More than one person cried when they hugged her that night, but everyone of them smiled when they saw her.
I have often wondered about her increased need or desire to show love and compassion in her final moments in this realm. Was it prompted by fear of not being accepted on the other side as she had so many times felt rejected, unloved, and unlovable in this one? Or there, so close to the next place, sometimes crossing over and coming back, had she learned a marvelous Truth? Had fear and judgment been dissolved by the promise of a new beginning?
My mother left this realm literally surrounded by the love of her family, her fear and sadness soothed by love and compassion. What a gift. What a blessing. What a revelation of possibilities for the ways her life might have been different if those gifts had been freely given all along.
Much love to you from Bear Path Cottage this morning, and from Jeannie Beannie as well. Her light shines on.
No comments:
Post a Comment