I am an
intuitive person, and as a writer and a spiritual practitioner I have long
embraced that aspect of myself. Intuition carries me to the deepest, most
magical, brightest, darkest places of thought and emotion and connection in my
life. It connects me to my muses, to my Divines, to the people and places I
most love. It is my strongest protection, the internal compass that guides me along
paths both troubled and happy.
Somehow, in
the past year, I have been living Harry Dresden moments. Somehow, in the past
year, some Thing dropped a rock wall between my Spirit/Mind and my Intuition.
Somehow, despite the hours of therapy and hours of consult and hours of conversation
with friends, I could not see that rock wall. It has been crumbling for a while,
and occasionally the light breaks through, but I just didn’t realize that it
was there. (Side note to catch you up if you need it: No Dresden spoilers here,
if you haven’t read the books yet, but the rock wall dropping Thing in my life was
simply the ultimate realization of Grief.)
Not long after
I woke this morning, I went out on the porch to greet the rising Sun on this
holy day of Mabon, the Autumn Equinox. I closed my eyes and lifted my face to
the warm touch of sunlight, relaxing into a soft meditation. When I opened my
eyes again the first thing I noticed was the shining little rows of dewdrops lining
the porch railing. My eyes moved from there to the row of sunflowers in front
of me, and I noticed how brilliant their color is with the morning sun shining
through them. I saw the dew glistening on their leaves, and then I noticed the
same with the tall standing corn. Those long green leaves were covered with dew,
and as my eyes moved up the stalks, I saw dew drops on the tips of the silks,
and even on the tassels.
I was simply
enjoying this visual nature show at face value, which would have been a
marvelous start to my day. Then the bird chorus started their song, singing the
Sun into the sky with their rising chorus. My ears woke up then, and I heard
the oddest background rhythm; it was the steady plink, plink, plink sound
of dripping water. I wondered if the hose was leaking, and as I stood to look
over the edge of railing into the South yard, the rain chain caught my attention.
The dew this
morning was so heavy that it was pooling in the flower-shaped cups of the rain
chain. I sat back down and watched with delight as fat, round droplets of water
ran down the copper lines of the chain, catching diamond points of light from
the Sun.
It was magical.
It was magical and it woke something inside me; it pushed another section of that
rock wall over and next thing I knew I was inside getting a bottle to harvest
the Equinox dew. I tried catching it out of the copper cups but just couldn’t
get it. My eyes wandered back to the broad, smooth surface of the corn stalk
leaves, and then the rest of me wandered that way as well, down the steps and around
the corner until I was standing in front of the corn. I did manage to get a few
drops of dew into the bottle, but I knew in that moment that was not really what
I was supposed to be doing and I put the bottle into my pocket.
My feet were
on the Earth on this Holy Day. I closed my eyes and grounded myself deeply,
until I felt the roots of my being mingling with the roots of the corn, and the
roots of the sunflowers, and the roots of the Loblolly Pine standing tall in
the yard. I used my hands to gather the dew from the leaves of the corn plant,
and as I did that a soft breeze went by. A favorite ritual song played through
my mind in that moment, and I smiled. Earth my body…Water my blood…Air my
breath and Fire my spirit. The corn tassels are tall above me, so I was
looking at the Sun through those waving tresses as I raised my eyes to the
light once more. I washed my face in the Mabon dew; not seeking beauty as one
does with the May but washing myself with Balance as I move into the introspective time
that lies ahead.
Autumn has been
my favorite season for as long as I can remember, but in the last years of my daughter’s
life every Autumn came with a sense of foreboding. This year the ghost of that
dread is finally gone; those shadows laid to rest. This year every leaf that I watch
fall will represent a healthy letting go; the normal cycle of life and death,
beginnings and endings. I am ready to immerse myself in the work of these darkling
days, holding a sense of peace rather than uncertainty.
The
harvest continues in earnest; gathering in that which is ripe and full, and storing aspects for the
future. The days ahead are a time for
introspection and preparation for growth. Take with you what you need and leave
behind that which no longer sustains you. It is a fine balance point, methinks,
to learn that once we let go of something it still serves a purpose. Food for
the fish. Mulch for own personal growth. Leaves on the ground; stalks in the
field - it all serves to nourish the body eventually.
Do
something you love. Spend time in a favorite place. Try something new. Learn
something new. Adventure under the sun. Adventure by the light of the stars.
Howl at the moon. Let the Autumn sunlight kiss your face. Create something. Let
go of something. Shatter something that no longer adds value to your life.
Spend time with people who make you happy. Deepen your relationship with your
Divine. Take time to share a meal with others. Share kindness with strangers.
Share kindness with yourself.
Be fully
present in your life.
I can hear
the busy chirping calls of the Golden Finches as they enjoy the harvest of
sunflower seeds in the front gardens. Another smile in my day. Time for me to step
away from my desk and continue to be present in other areas of my life.
Blessed Mabon,
my friends. May you find your blessings equally in the light and darkness on
this Autumn Equinox.
Being washed in Maybon dew was the highlight of the week. Thanks.
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