Random Musings in the Late Days of Summer

The meeting I had scheduled this morning was cancelled, and I thought I'd use that time to organize my desk and the study. But here I am, pen in hand, so to speak, with my heart and head full of the kind of Random Musings I used to write.

The fog is heavy below the mountains to the south and I am so in tune with the way that Summer is moving towards Autumn that every one of my senses is full to the brim but longing for more. Loose lore around these parts says that every foggy August morning means a day of snow in the Winter. I don't know if there's any truth to that, but I do know that every foggy August morning feels like all of Nature is checking its layers for tucking in against the coming cold and darker days. This is a good feeling.

When Rhodes and I put an offer on the Cottage back in March I had the notion that we'd be completely settled in by June or July. I'd have my morning rituals established, with hot tea and journaling, then writing for a set time. I didn't hope much beyond that because that's all that seemed important. Here I am in August, still figuring out where things go in this house. Still figuring out what material items we can let go of. Still figuring out where I'm going and what I can let go of, too. This is also a good feeling.

The Cottage stands where an old farmhouse once stood, and I am deeply interested in learning the history of this land and the river valley that it is a part of. For the first time outside of the Adirondacks I am putting down roots and that is a powerful, powerful thang.

The corn, sunflowers, and squashes I planted in the rock wall garden are absolutely thriving and I am literally delighted every time I look at them. I love tending to them and seeing them as they are now, but I also have grand daydreams of an Autumn vision of the Cottage with the corn and sunflowers ready for harvest. Being able to hope and dream and see the future - more good feelings.

Hey. You know that friend you haven't heard from in a while? The one who vanished from social media? Send them a message. Go one better, if you have their mailing address, and send a card or a note, old-school. Stop letting "social media" define your connections to people you care about.

Also hey. Morning tea isn't always a steaming cuppa. Today's tea is iced raspberry rose hibiscus, sweetened with honey. I'm still holding onto Summer, actually living every moment, and that is the best feeling of all.

Peace out, peeps. Be shiny!

~sb

The Army of Little Bitty Volunteer Pumpkins

Lemon Honey Thyme Syrup

Awoke from a lovely afternoon nap with a bit of a sore throat and cough, which are probably just allergies. I know this is back to school time for many of  you, which often kicks of germ and and flu season as well, so I thought I'd share this recipe that I've found helpful in the past couple of years. Its for a Lemon Honey Thyme Cough Syrup. Super easy to make, super yummy, and I can pronounce the names of all the ingredients.

There is a kind of mindfulness and stillness in doing this type of work. It eases my spirit and helps me ground my energy.

Yes. I'm sharing another blog page with you. Is that wrong in blogland? I don't know. But I've used this author's recipe, don't see the point in recreating it, and she certainly deserves the credit. :-)

https://www.reformationacres.com/2014/11/lemon-honey-thyme-cough-syrup-recipe.html?fbclid=IwAR2GYeLW2gjRcbzkKHr6xI--aVwU6ZpD_CxtrFqsrEBl6SLPl60wCBNYQnY

Living with Black Bears (Ursus americanus)

Living with Black Bears (Ursus americanus)

Perhaps you didn't realize it was missing, but I have found early morning again. In the post-move haze and fatigue it became too easy to plop down on the couch at 10 pm to "watch a show," and then binge watch into the wee hours. But life moves on. Boxes are emptied. The brain is starting to work a little better. The television is staying off, and the phone is not used in the bedroom. Ta-da! Once again I am waking up with the rising Sun. Of course it helps that I can take a nap during the day if I need one, which only happens once or twice every day. :-) 

I love to watch the birds moving around the back yard in the early morning light. They flit around the pine tree and the yet-unidentified-by-me deciduous trees, and hop along the fence rail and along the ground, always singing and calling out to each other. There is a bunny who makes an appearance every morning now. I think he likes the shelter provided by Beth's altar just as much as the birds and butterflies like the flowers in her garden. 

Every once in a while I see the shambling movement of a Black Bear (Ursus americanus) as it makes its way along the greenway that runs beyond our tree line, about 30 feet from the bedroom window. There is a gap between the ground and the lowest hanging branches that allows me to see just the bottom of Bear legs and feet moving. Describing that visual makes me chuckle, but every time I know there is a Bear out there it makes me catch my breath. 

I have lived in Bear Country for years and have had several encounters with them. I have never ceased to be awed by their power, their beauty, and their intelligence, and when we decided to purchase this home I was thrilled to know that we would still have Bears for neighbors. Not only did our human neighbors confirm this, but the Bears let us know by leaving their, ummm, calling cards in the yard. One friend said to me "Only YOU would be happy to see bear poop!"

I don't feel threatened by the proximity of Bears; what makes me uncomfortable is the habits and behaviors of humans that change Bear behavior or cause Bears to become habituated to humans and human homes as sources of food. Rhodes and I work hard to educate ourselves (and anyone who will listen) about safe and peaceful co-existence in Bear country.

Life at the Cottage means we have gardening and lots of yard maintenance. We decided early on to place a compost pile at the back corner of our property, and I'm surprised at how quickly that pile has grown. Because we know we are living, literally, on a Bear Path, I decided to do some research about whether or not it would be safe to compost food waste.

I found this great piece published by the District of Squamish, and ran it by my favorite Bear people in the universe, the staff at Appalachian Bear Rescue https://appalachianbearrescue.org/ to make sure the suggestions in the Canadian article work for our Bears here in Western North Carolina and Eastern Tennessee. They were kind enough to review the information, and confirmed it as excellent and accurate.

They further emphasize the need to make sure the compost doesn't contain bear attractants and that is must be secured. "A bear's nose is exceptionally sensitive and we must remember they will eat carrion if they come across it."

Check. No meat, fish, or grease in the compost! And our personal decision is to compost fresh vegetable waste, but not fruits, as the sugary smell is just too tempting.

If you live with Bears, please be mindful about how your behavior impacts their lives. Bears who become habituated to humans and human spaces as a source of food often end up being killed. Also, if you live with Bears or just love them as much as I do, you can learn a lot about Bear behavior by following the efforts of Appalachian Bear Rescue on their wesbite or Facebook page. I am willing to bet the escapades of the cubby and yearling residents, and even the curators, will make you smile or laugh at least one time.

http://www.bearsmart.com/docs/Composting-in-Bear-Country-Squamish.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0_QencrdgOLimm5DXLuQGSV8p_u2dIwDlJoF_Dzrr44qABzZBCL_HofoU

Root Vegetables and the Gone Befores

Awake at 5 a.m. from a dream which had waaaaaay too many Gone Befores making guest appearances. I don't know what all their fuss was about, but something's up, people, and it disturbs me to say I have no idea what it is.

Ground yourself today, even more than normal. Take time to gather yourself and get your stuff together before you start the day. Run a systems check on yourself. Do a mental inventory. It might seem like you don't have time for that, but (1) you do; (2) it doesn't take an hour long ritual to make it happen; and (3) you will be glad you did, as it can set the way in which you process and handle everything that comes at you today.

Do it while you are drinking that morning cup of coffee or tea or water. Do it while you are brushing your teeth or making lunches.

I woke from that dream and took a deep, slow breath to center myself. I turned towards Rhodes and briefly thought of snuggling in for more sleep. He's a sweet snuggler :-) and has the body warmth of a fully stoked furnace, so its always a temptation, but there is business about this day that was calling to me.

I went to the kitchen and gathered the root vegetables for tonight's dinner casserole. I also grabbed a knife, the veg peeler, a stainless steel bowl and a cutting board. I was mindful about gathering bits of myself while I did that work, and by the time I sat at the table to start working I was already feeling in tune with myself and with this day. Of course my companion cat was very helpful!

I'm sitting on the couch as I write this, watching the sky lighten to the east over the house where our sweet neighbors Gerald and Linda live. A couple of days ago I'd have just written this in bed (because my desk is still a move-mess!) but Rhodes and I have agreed to stop using electronics in the bedroom. Talk about positive, simple life changes!

And now, I'm going to make a mug of tea, and go sit on the front steps and continue the grounding process while I listen to the birds sing the Sun up, and watch Himself respond to their call.

Good morning, peeps!

Dreams Coming True - Kitchen Renovations

Shortly after we made a purchase offer on the Cottage (but still had time to back out) we got a panicked call from our Realtor. He was so concerned for us he hadn’t been able to sleep. We took him to lunch to have a serious conversation, and over that meal we convinced him that we were certain about our commitment to this home. As we were leaving the restaurant, he told us in all his years of working as a Realtor, we were the first clients to sell him a house. Thanks for believing in us, Jose! 

The kitchen was so bad the cabinet doors wouldn’t open and/or were falling off, but we had a vision about what this home would become.

From vision to amazing reality. The kitchen at Bear Path Cottage is finally finished. We couldn’t be happier with how she looks. 

Mother Love. Happy Birthday, Elizabeth Jean.

Mother Love. Happy Birthday, Elizabeth Jean.

Mother love - the most powerful and visceral proof for string theory and of the failure of time as a linear construct. Wasn't it just yesterday when I first held that quiet, preciously sweet, big blue eyed, so alert and watchful baby? And haven't a billion days and nights of love and worry and joy and pride and anguish and grief passed between that day and this one?

In human measurement, that first day with my babiest girl in this world was 31 years ago today. She was beautiful, born two weeks late in one of the hottest summers on record for central New York. Even though through most of her life she was an absolute joy to be around, she maintained her birth-established behavior and never did anything until she was ready to do it. Sometimes that served her well; other times it destroyed us all.

She became a wise and strong woman, capable of being mindful, but still able to be the joyful and vibrant person who brightened the world with her presence. She was loving and compassionate to others, even when she couldn't be to herself.

I am so grateful for all that this precious and precocious child taught me about unconditional love. 

Every year I give a great deal of thought about what I'm going to write for her birthday. Since she died I have composed a dozen different essays and written four or five poems, and not one of them tells the story the way I want it to be told. Lifelines. Doorways. Winding paths. Darkness. Absolute light. Absolute heartbreak. Absolute love.

For my Beth's 31st birthday, I am going to do my best to make the good things matter. I hope you will do the same. I'm going to spend the rest of the day potting flowers for her memorial garden. Given the history of that garden (the massive deck build of 2017), it seemed fitting to wait until her birthday this year to put the altar and garden in place at Bearpath Cottage. 

~~
Some things my mother heart wants you to know:

Write love notes and put them in your kids' lunches. Take the time to read the bedtime story for the 3rd time when she asks you to, even if she can recite the words along with you long before she can read. Snuggle as often as you can. Listen to his music even when you cannot stand it so that you can talk to him about something that he loves. You cannot spoil a baby by holding him when he cries. Let your child know that holding hands with people that you love is okay, no matter how old you are or what gender. Take pictures. Write a journal. Play with playdough and finger paints and bubbles. Sidewalk chalk is good for everyone. Play hide and seek in the yard after dark. Teach your children about fireflies and faeries. Never let your child think, even for one second, that your love for him or her is anything less than unconditional.

~~

When Beth was a baby, she would take my face between her hands and pull my face close to hers, always in this forehead to forehead position. Then she would say in this funny, nasal tone, "look at meeeeeee cloooooose-lllllyyyyyyy." I never did figure out where that came from, but it was an endearing gesture repeated throughout her life. Rhodes took this photo when we took Beth on a picnic supper while she was in recovery at Cornerstone in 2014. It was the night she shared her process poster with us.

Look at me closely, Elizabeth Jean, and see how much I love you! Happy birthday to you, my beloved daughter. 

Dear Emily

Dear Emily

Over the course of my kids' lives they have had some remarkable friends; people who are interesting, challenging, kind, loving, lovable, special, amazing, and just plain good people. I am honored that some of those people became my other kids, and sometimes, in adulthood, even my friends.

One of those other kids is a woman who is an absolute gem. She is so sweet natured, so full of joy, and has such a loving and kind spirit that she literally shines. She probably doesn't know that, and that makes her even more beautiful. Through some of the really dark days of my life she lifted my spirits with her positive and energetic social media posts about her skating and rock climbing and life adventures, and about her precious fur babies. (I have two words for you, if you need a dog to love vicariously: Pendleton Pumpernickel.)

She's had a rough go lately, battling breast cancer. I will never forget the look on her face in a photo taken the day she shaved her head because fuck chemo, it was not taking her hair from her. The physical, mental, and emotional strength that lets her climb rock walls and do power workouts was evident in the defiant set of her face and the challenging look in her eyes. When I saw that photo I thought "Warrior Woman! You've got this!"

Chemo is over - weeks of hell. Other treatments started, plans in place. A week ago she underwent a double mastectomy. Today she had her drains removed. She is smiling and happy because she can put her own shirt on over her head.

I was going to take a fresh peach cobbler to her the other day. She didn't see my message, and then when she did apologized for missing it. I baked another cobbler today, full of summertime magic, and went to visit her and her own sweet mama and to finally meet the greyhound of my dreams. I messaged her to let her know I was leaving, and would be there in about half an hour. She apologized because I had to travel so far.

I realized then that it might be helpful to her if I shared some of the knowledge and wisdom I have gained since the death of my youngest daughter and other challenging life events I've experienced in the last couple of years. When we were seated in her mom's living room I told her I was going to mom her before I left, and she didn't object. We visited for a while, and when I did finally share some things with her, her mom laughed and said she wished we could record it.

I thought I might like to write about it instead, and with my other kid's permission, here it is.

Dear Emily,

Please accept this momming in the loving way it is intended.

Please don't think you have to apologize to anyone for anything right now. I know you will anyway, because you are a very polite person, but you really don't have to. And you really don't have to feel like you must. It doesn't matter if you are late, or snappy, or missed a message, or vomited in someone's car., or can't eat what someone made you for lunch. Everyone who loves you (and there are so very many of us!) understands the hell that you are going through. You are currently holding a golden ticket; a free pass that allows you to do ANYTHING without having to apologize to ANYONE. We all also know that you won't take advantage of that ticket, or of any person in your life. We know that your brain is foggy, and you are tired, and even in the glow of victory you are still frightened. Its okay. We've got you.

Please allow your beautiful spirit to believe that you are not an inconvenience to anyone. That the side effects of the war you are waging do not include inconvenience. It is not difficult to journey to see you. It would not be a bother to run errands, or pick up something from the store, or bring you ice cream from the Hop if you want it at 3:00 in the afternoon. It is not an inconvenience or bothersome to do any little thing that you or your mom need or want right now, because doing those things is showing you love.

The day of Beth's celebration of life service some friends wanted to help in a way I was not comfortable with (oh, Pride). I agreed to let them help after another friend put his hands on my shoulders and said "Let people show you love. Its the only way they know to help you through this difficult time." I have carried that gentle lesson with me every day since then, receiving and giving love whenever I can. I hope you can pick the lesson up and carry it with you, too.

I told you today that we are in harvest season. The support and encouragement and love you are receiving is the bounty from all the gardens you have tended in the same way. What an amazing thing to see, even from my perspective. There you are, in the midst of it. Savor it. Know you earned it. Put the pieces of it together in your heart the same way you assemble your sweet little bouquets, and let them continue to lift you up and light your way as you have done for so many others.

Much love, always,

Mama Slam

Elderberry Syrup

I copied this recipe from this blog: http://wellnessmama.com/1888/elderberry-syrup/A simple natural remedy with a big nutritional punch. We keep this on hand during cold and flu season to ward off illness.

Author: Wellness Mama

Ingredients

• ⅔ cup black elderberries
• 3.5 cups of water
• 2 T fresh or dried ginger root
• 1 tsp cinnamon powder
• ½ tsp cloves or clove powder
• 1 cup raw honey 

Instructions

1. Pour water into medium saucepan and add elderberries, ginger, cinnamon and cloves (do not add honey!)
2. Bring to a boil and then cover and reduce to a simmer for about 45 minutes to an hour until the liquid has reduced by almost half. At that point, remove from heat and let cool enough to be handled. Pour through a strainer into a glass jar or bowl.
3. Discard the elderberries (or compost them!) and let the liquid cool to lukewarm. When it is no longer hot, add 1 cup of honey and stir well.
4. When honey is well mixed into the elderberry mixture, pour the syrup into a pint sized mason jar or 16 ounce glass bottle of some kind.
5. Ta Da! You just made homemade elderberry syrup! Store in the fridge and take daily for its immune boosting properties. Some sources recommend taking only during the week and not on the weekends to boost immunity.
6. Standard dose is ½ tsp to 1 tsp for kids and ½ Tbsp to 1 Tbsp for adults. If the flu does strike, take the normal dose every 2-3 hours instead of once a day until symptoms disappear.

Elderberry Elixir

Elderberry Elixir

This recipe and information were given to me by a woman from this area. I used dried ingredients (except for the Osha, I could only find liquid) that I purchased from a local food co-op. Also, use LOCAL TO YOU honey! 

I strongly recommend that you research each of these ingredients so that you understand how they work and exactly what they add and what you are consuming. For instance, elderberry is extremely high in vitamin c, which is contraindicted for people with certain medical conditions. I have previously made this with honey brandy and rum. This year, after processing cherries for canning, I am soaking the fleshy cherry pits in a quart jar of vodka for about a week; I"ve done this in the past to add some cherry flavor to the elixir. I will strain the vodka to remove the pits and then compost the pits. 

Some people make an elderberry elixir using just the berries and vodka. 

Finally: tea. When I strained the liquid from the mash, I saved the mash in small portions in bags in the freezer, and used that to make tea or to add to other teas. I wouldn't recommend that as a tonic for someone who is actually sick, but it works well for a night-time immune booster.

I also mixed all of the dry ingredients in a quart jar to have on hand for tea. I asked a group of wise women if the tea would have the same curative powers as the elixir (especially good if someone cannot take alcohol!), and the answer was yes. I got this one extra bit of tea advice: "Yes, you will get the same immune boost from the tea. But with hard herbs like elderberry, orange peel, and rosehips (for example) you will need to simmer the infusion for about 15-20 minutes (that's called a decoction). Then you can add other floral or leafy herbs (say elderflowers or mint) and cover and steep for another 10-15 minutes." 

Kiva’s Ultimate Elder Mother Elixir

Measurements are approximate* 

1 cup Elderberries (dried)*
1/2 cup Elderflowers (dried)*
1/4 cup Rose hips (If dried use about 2 TB)*
3 TB fresh Ginger or Wild Ginger*
1 TB Orange peel (fresh grated or dried chunks)*
pinch of Oshá (optional, dried or fresh)*
small handful Wild Licorice (optional, dried or fresh, the licorice of commerce can be substituted)*
Raw honey*
Brandy (a dark rum, good whiskey, or vodka can also work)*
1 quart jar

Mix all herbs together and place in quart jar. Cover herbs with honey until fully saturated, then fill jar with brandy. Macerate for 4-6 weeks. Strain and use by the dropperful. For best results, 1/2 - 1 dropperful every few hours should be used until cold/flu symptoms recede or disappear completely. Be sure to rest extra as well, the Elderberry has a much harder time with your immune system if you’re really worn down. A little extra sleep will increase its benefits tenfold.

First Harvest - Lughnasadh/Lammas

First Harvest - Lughnasadh/Lammas

Blessed Lughnasadh! Blessed Lammas! I hope you experience all of the blessings of this first harvest on both the spiritual and mundane levels. What have you planted that is coming to fruition? Are you growing a garden? Seeking a new job? Building a relationship? Doing the hard work of healing? 

Last night Rhodes and I spent time out doors tending to our gardens, weeding and watering and caring for our little bit of land. The pumpkins and squash are doing well, and the lavender bed is thriving. Yard trimmings of all sort go to the mulch pile under the cedar in the back yard, and the grounds of the Cottage are so fertile that even that messy pile is happy. 

The processes that I use for healing and for coping with chronic illness sometimes include random physical and mental wanderings. There is comfort and inspiration in well-worn rituals and favorite places, and I am fortunate that my wanderings set my feet on familiar paths. I was able to navigate the twists and turns that led me back to the spiritual and self-care traditions that ground me. The work of healing can require complicated processes, but it can also happen with the simplest things. 

Dinner tonight will include a good hearty grain bread and other seasonal harvest items. This is just one small way to celebrate the grain harvest and the turning of the Wheel of the Year. I also use this Harvest Sabbat as a reminder to begin preparations for for the cold months that are coming faster than you think by starting some Eye of Newt....

Just kidding. Kitchen witching yesterday and today, mixed in with everyday cooking. These are cherries in an alcohol base, getting a head start on elderberry elixir. (See separate blog post for elixir and syrup recipes!) Another two quarts of cherries are pitted and in the freezer, to use for making homemade cough medicine or for baking. Corn and peaches are also going into the freezer today. Summer flavors in winter have their own special magic.

May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. ~ Teresa of Ávila 

Peace out, people, and blessed be.

~sb